


Why Must It Be Like This?

by iamafangirlokee



Category: Looking for Alaska - John Green
Genre: Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:20:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25422292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamafangirlokee/pseuds/iamafangirlokee
Summary: This is if they lived. This is they survived. This is if their story didn't end where it did.
Kudos: 2





	1. 1.

**Author's Note:**

> Please enjoy! I try..

"Alaska! Alaska. You are drunk. We can't let you go anywhere." I tried to say as calmly and matter-of-factly as possible. She kept crying and screaming and I was worried that someone would hear. I pulled her into a hug as she sobbed into my lower chest I petted her. Not quite sure on how to soothe her.

"I have to go! I have to go! She'll be waiting!" and I had no idea who she was. We needed her to calm down but her wails, sounding so childlike and terrified scared me. I looked to the Colonel for help but he was also pretty out of it. I sat on the floor pulling Alaska down onto my lap. She kept squirming trying to get out of my grasp but I just held on tighter. I felt the guilt build up inside of me but I knew this was the right thing to do. It shocked me that a couple of hours ago I was making out with this beautiful girl going to second base and now she was screaming bloody murder. Tomorrow we'll need to find out about what happened.

After twenty minutes she finally quieted down and fell asleep on my lap while the colonel kept dozing off of every couple of minutes and waking up again. I picked Alaska up, struggling as I did so, and place her, well if being honest, dropped her, onto my bed, and then pulled my blanket on top of her. Then the Colonel. He might be small but that didn't make him light as a feather and I knew I had no chance of getting him onto his bed. Instead, I grabbed his pillow and placed his head on it, and covered him with his duvet. But for me? I didn't think I could fall asleep after all that... excitement.

I woke up to the BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP of my alarm clock and the moans and complaints of Alaska and the Colonel. I quickly hit snooze and pulled on my socks and shoes and walked off to French II. I could barely keep up with the class and my eyelids felt heavy. Luckily today was Bufriedo day so I quickly scarfed one down and dozed off at a table. I woke up to the sound of a tray being smacked down on the rectangular plastic tabletop. I looked up to see an annoyed Takumi and I could feel my emotions starting to buildup and match his.

"What?" I asked with as much distaste I could.

"What do you mean what? Where's Chipper and Alaska?"

I contemplated telling him the truth. I didn't know if I should but I decided he had a right to know and it'd be nice to have someone help me with the two hungover people in my room. So I lay it all on him about the drinking and the truth or dare and Alaska's breakdown. The whole time his expression never changed and he just hmmed every once in a while. After I was done he stood up and said,

"Pudge. Pudge, you really need a cigarette this time."

Takumi and I walked to the smoking hole and I pulled out my pack of cigarettes just for something to do. Actually, I've been trying to cut back recently because I've started coughing and sounding wheezy. The Colonel and Alaska acted as if they couldn't find a problem with smoking so much. But I could find multiple and honestly, didn't need this problem in my life. So I just kept fiddling with the pack contemplating smoking for the heck of it or just standing here. Mercifully Takumi started talking before I came to a decision.

"We need to talk about Alaska."

"What about her?" I asked hoping my voice wouldn't give nervousness away. But knowing I had a terrible poker face so he could probably tell already.

"Do you know what happened last night? Do you know what could have fucking happened?" He said with the anger I've never heard him speak with. Now I know he probably also talked to her but when? She was with the colonel and I the whole time except when she picked up the phone. But she didn't seem to be gone for more than a few minutes. Was he the person who triggered her hysteria?

"What do you know? Who do you think stopped shit from escalating? Whose lap do you think she fell asleep on? Don't talk as if you know it all because you fucking don't, now, tell me what you know?" I say in one breath. All rushed and angered. I was annoyed that he thought he had the right to lecture me? To question me in such a manner. Who does he think he is. For god's sake, I'm the person she made out with and said "to be continued" to.

"Yesterday was the anniversary of her mom's death. She always leaves flowers on her grave and that's why she had a meltdown. I'm glad you didn't let her go." and with a nod of his head, he left in the opposite direction from school.

Her mom's anniversary. Her mom's-

shit. shit. shit. And with that, I ran in the opposite direction of Takumi to make sure she, Alaska, the moody, mysterious girl I love, stays alive.

I run as quickly as I can to Alaska's room and I can see flickers of shadows underneath her door. I slammed open the door, barely being able to catch my breath, "ALASKA! ALASKA!" I yell. She is lying on the floor with dozens of candles surrounding her. Most lit. The light dancing across her face and what I wouldn't pay to have her emerald eyes open so I can see how the light changes the color. She slowly opens her eyes and looks towards me. Her eyes are glassy with tears welling up in them. 

"Oh, Miles, Miles, Miles." The way she kept repeating my name scared me but I couldn't help but ask, 

"Ya?" 

"Do you know what today is?" I nod. "I forgot." 

"I know." The tears start streaming down her face and the sobs keep coming on harder and harder. I move over a few candles nearest to her and lay down. I reach my hand out to grab her hand and to whisper into the silence, 

"I love you, Alaska Young. Always have and always will." I get a soft squeeze as a response.


	2. Something Happy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pudge didn't let her go. She lives. There is no death and a lot of tears and emotions. She lives but for how long?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so for this one, it's pretty happy but I have more ideas for the next couple of chapters that are more FWOOSH. So, this one is just happy fluff.

I laid in bed and stared at the mattress above me. I could hear the Colonel's breathing. I couldn't sleep and I couldn't stop replaying what happened last night in my mind. After I confessed my feelings to Alaska, she stopped crying. Her eyes shone, still wet from her meltdown but there was happiness there. There was genuine happiness. Something I have never seen in those emerald green eyes. I could still remember how she said my name, how it sounded like the most beautiful thing in her mouth. I could remember the taste of her tongue in my mouth and how I caressed her. We fit together perfectly, her beautiful hair just tickling my neck. The way she giggled. The best sound in the world.   
"CHIPPPPERRRRR!!!!" Alaska yelled, barging into our room. It was still dark outside, so it was hard to see her. Close behind her though was Takumi, looking pissed and distorted. She must have woken him up before she decided to pay us a visit. I wonder if the Eagle would hear.   
"Jesus. What the fuck do you want?' The Colonel muttered from his bed. I could hear him shift his weight and get ready to jump off from the top. I could never do that because 1. I had the athletic coordination of Bambi and 2. I was six feet tall and doing that would probably result in me banging my head against the wall.   
"Well, well, well. Someone's a grumpy puss. I came here to collect my boys so we can go somewhere very important. So y'all get dressed while Pudgy comes outside and has a little chat with me. Be back in five." I scrambled out of bed. I quickly pulled on a clean blue t-shirt and followed her out. She spun around and looked me straight in the eye. The emerald's fierce. "Did you mean what you said yesterday?"   
"Yes," I said matter-of-factly   
"Okay. What does that mean?"   
"Alaska Young, will you go out with me?" I asked as dramatically as possible and she laughed as loud as she possibly could.   
"Yes, but I plan the first date. Which will start with The Colonel and Takumi now. BOYS! OUT! NOW!" The sun was starting to rise but I'm sure everyone else didn't appreciate all the noise at five-thirty in the morning. The door slammed open and the two boys started waking out sulkily and one of them, the shorter, more stern-looking one, was clearly very hungover. I wondered how Alaska wasn't. She was a wonder to us all at times.   
We walked over to her car and climbed into blue citrus. The scent of vanilla and smoke, sharp in my nose.   
"Where we headed?" asked Takumi tiredly.   
"You'll see." We drove for what seemed like forever but was probably only half an hour. I couldn't keep my eyes off the pretty girl beside me as Takumi and The Colonel nodded off behind us. It felt like we were in our own sacred bubble that I never wanted to leave. The car suddenly jerked to a stop which startled them awake.   
"Good morning, how was your nap?" I asked. They both shot me dirty looks as they got out of the car and I was about to climb out, Alaska grabbed my arm. I sat back down and turned to stare at her.   
"Hi."   
"Hi." She leaned in and I mimicked her actions and we started kissing. Slowly then picking up heat. There was a banging on my window and it startled me so I jumped up and hit my head on the roof of the car. Alaska leaned over me to roll down the window and I could feel her boobs on my leg. Three layers. Her bra, her shirt, and my shorts. Just three layers.   
"What the fuck?" The Colonel asked. He was very hung-over and was clearly not in the mood for this.   
"Oh, did I forget to mention? You two will be accompanying us on our first date." Alaska flashed him a wide smile which I tried to look everywhere but at The Colonel's angered face and Takumi's unreadable one.   
"Y'all owe us." and then Alaska was looking up again to kiss me agonizingly slowly in front of the two, to piss them off and turn me on.


End file.
